A sad tale. I completely missed this man's life, music, work, career, existence. A comet flashed across the sky when I wasn't looking. The idea of getting abused for no reason in New York, yeah that can happen. Rest In Peace, sir. Thank you, and I will go to YouTube soon, and see what you left behind ...
This resonated with me. I lived in Portland in the late 90s early 2000s and I remember people remarking about wanting to see him cry on stage and such. And I remember when I read that he stabbed himself in LA. It’s all very sad. And such beautiful music to have with us. Thank you Elliot smith.
Enjoyed your essay. It brought back a lot for me, used to live in Portland. I knew some of the folks you mentioned. I didn't know Elliott but my friend Jesse Emerson played with him for a while.
I was lucky enough to see him in Vancouver BC in 1998 on the XO tour. Either/Or is my fav of his and also the first I heard. Quasi, also from Portland opened and backed him up live and are a great band also. I read in the Carrie Brownstein bio that drummer Janet had a bit of a crush on Elliott.
Was he murdered by his girlfriend? I doubt it. He was suicidal for years and heavily addicted to coke and herpin from what I heard. That's not good for your mental health.
You were so right when you said you look away from these guys for a couple of years and next thing you know they're in the psych ward. Or some other kind of stastic. It almost happened to me as a minor artist on the scene in the 90's. Believe me I know of what I speak.
That year in Vanouver I was able to see some others that met a similar fate - Mark Linkous from Sparklehorse and Vic Chesnutt. I think about/ have thought about these dudes often so I appreciate you writing about Elliott. I don't know what we deserve for striving for poetry in immortality but I don't think we deserve oblivian.
Beautiful piece, thank you for sharing. I don't regret much in life, but I do regret that I never got to see him live. Same with Jeff Buckley. Both beautiful humans that had too short a time in this world.
I really loved this. In 1998-1999 I was studying in Montpellier, France. I listened to XO and Either/Or, which were two of the 20-ish CDs I’d brought with me, over and over.
I got to see Elliott play in a club called in Montpellier called Rockstore. I was right up front. I asked him to play “Coming up Roses” and he scowled at me. A little while later, I watched him on the Oscars, in that ill-fitting white suit. A little while after that, he was gone.
I just looked up the clip of him playing at the Oscars. Apparently that performance was in March of 1998. I would have seen him live either in the fall of 1998 or the spring of 1999. Memory is a funny thing; I could have sworn I saw him live first, and on TV afterward. Oh well.
I can't believe the courage it must have taken to get up in front of that crowd with just a guitar.
I’ve never bothered to listen to him. Probably jealousy at someone my age actually writing and singing songs that thousands or millions of people loved, and incredulous that someone who owned that magic could suffer and die like he did. I will check him out, this essay gives good indication where to start.
I essentially said this in my note linking to this wonderful essay, but ever since I first heard Elliott's music as an angsty senior in high school shortly after he took his own life, I periodically immerse myself in his art until I can't take it anymore and have to take a break from how raw it is. Thanks to this essay, I'm re-immersed and it's already helping me navigate some of my own feelings. Well done and thank you, sir.
I am from Oly but spent most of the 90's in Seattle (with visits to Portland) and rememember that crazy mystique that preceded his real fame. And then when I moved to Echo Park in LA he lived just a couple blocks away. Still I never saw him play music otherwise, and it is a regret.
Also, I usually don't pimp my own work when commenting on others, but this story I wrote about Cobain touches on some of the same notes. I think you may enjoy it. Cheers!
Oh, Blake, this is so fucking good and tragic and insightful. It also makes me happy that I've never really been part of an artistic "scene."
Thanks Sherman!
This was the best essay of all of them, so far.
I loved it so much.
A sad tale. I completely missed this man's life, music, work, career, existence. A comet flashed across the sky when I wasn't looking. The idea of getting abused for no reason in New York, yeah that can happen. Rest In Peace, sir. Thank you, and I will go to YouTube soon, and see what you left behind ...
This resonated with me. I lived in Portland in the late 90s early 2000s and I remember people remarking about wanting to see him cry on stage and such. And I remember when I read that he stabbed himself in LA. It’s all very sad. And such beautiful music to have with us. Thank you Elliot smith.
Thanks Kate!
Enjoyed your essay. It brought back a lot for me, used to live in Portland. I knew some of the folks you mentioned. I didn't know Elliott but my friend Jesse Emerson played with him for a while.
I really like this substack project you have going on. You can really capture a scene and a moment in time.
Thanks Derek.
I was lucky enough to see him in Vancouver BC in 1998 on the XO tour. Either/Or is my fav of his and also the first I heard. Quasi, also from Portland opened and backed him up live and are a great band also. I read in the Carrie Brownstein bio that drummer Janet had a bit of a crush on Elliott.
Was he murdered by his girlfriend? I doubt it. He was suicidal for years and heavily addicted to coke and herpin from what I heard. That's not good for your mental health.
You were so right when you said you look away from these guys for a couple of years and next thing you know they're in the psych ward. Or some other kind of stastic. It almost happened to me as a minor artist on the scene in the 90's. Believe me I know of what I speak.
That year in Vanouver I was able to see some others that met a similar fate - Mark Linkous from Sparklehorse and Vic Chesnutt. I think about/ have thought about these dudes often so I appreciate you writing about Elliott. I don't know what we deserve for striving for poetry in immortality but I don't think we deserve oblivian.
Maybe deserve is a bad way to put it though. I mean what does anyone deserve?
Great piece. I agree it is one of your best yet.
Beautiful piece, thank you for sharing. I don't regret much in life, but I do regret that I never got to see him live. Same with Jeff Buckley. Both beautiful humans that had too short a time in this world.
I really loved this. In 1998-1999 I was studying in Montpellier, France. I listened to XO and Either/Or, which were two of the 20-ish CDs I’d brought with me, over and over.
I got to see Elliott play in a club called in Montpellier called Rockstore. I was right up front. I asked him to play “Coming up Roses” and he scowled at me. A little while later, I watched him on the Oscars, in that ill-fitting white suit. A little while after that, he was gone.
Thanks Claudine!
I just looked up the clip of him playing at the Oscars. Apparently that performance was in March of 1998. I would have seen him live either in the fall of 1998 or the spring of 1999. Memory is a funny thing; I could have sworn I saw him live first, and on TV afterward. Oh well.
I can't believe the courage it must have taken to get up in front of that crowd with just a guitar.
Great piece. Read it with Melissa. Brought back poignant college memories, and for a second I felt younger.
I didn’t discover him properly till after he died. His songs just totally made sense to me.
I’ve never bothered to listen to him. Probably jealousy at someone my age actually writing and singing songs that thousands or millions of people loved, and incredulous that someone who owned that magic could suffer and die like he did. I will check him out, this essay gives good indication where to start.
Blake this is so good the cadence is like a meta commentary on his music
thanks Dana!
I essentially said this in my note linking to this wonderful essay, but ever since I first heard Elliott's music as an angsty senior in high school shortly after he took his own life, I periodically immerse myself in his art until I can't take it anymore and have to take a break from how raw it is. Thanks to this essay, I'm re-immersed and it's already helping me navigate some of my own feelings. Well done and thank you, sir.
thank you for the kind words and the repost!
I miss La Luna!
Wonderful, evocative piece.
I am from Oly but spent most of the 90's in Seattle (with visits to Portland) and rememember that crazy mystique that preceded his real fame. And then when I moved to Echo Park in LA he lived just a couple blocks away. Still I never saw him play music otherwise, and it is a regret.
Also, I usually don't pimp my own work when commenting on others, but this story I wrote about Cobain touches on some of the same notes. I think you may enjoy it. Cheers!
https://christharp.substack.com/p/the-last-time-i-saw-kurt
Cool. Thanks!