PARK SLOPE, BROOKLYN (2017) “Café Life”

I had lived in every form of youth ghetto that existed. Now, for my own safety, it was time to live around yuppies.

*

In 2016, I was living in Portland where against my better judgement, I became involved with a much younger woman, whom I fell in love with in a delusional, mid-life crisis kind of way.

After a month or two, I could see she did not have sincere feelings for me. So I broke it off. (Me, thinking we were a couple when in fact I was just one of many men in her rotation.)

The breakup became complicated and I was forced to abandon some of my usual hang outs and social circles. Even worse, as the months passed, I didn’t get over her. In fact, I couldn’t get her out of my head. She was haunting me.

[During this time I met another middle-aged guy who had recently been in a similar relationship. We compared notes and found that in both cases our women had wanted money and gifts and had been very outspoken in their desire for them. I asked him: “Did you give her money?” He said: “I bought her a house.”]

I remained in this anxious and agitated state for nearly a year. And I still wasn’t feeling better. I had never had a breakup affect me like this.

*

Then one day, on Facebook, I saw that a writer friend in Brooklyn needed a cat sitter for a week and without thinking called her and said I would do it. I quickly formulated a plan to move to Brooklyn. I didn’t have to stay there forever. But I had to get out of Portland.

I arrived a couple weeks later with a large suitcase and met my writer friend and her husband. They had a cute house, a couple kids, a cat.

They gave me the keys and left for vacation and I immediately started an apartment search. I signed up with some real estate agencies and each day, I would look at a couple apartments in my price range. They were mostly awful, of course. And in sketchy neighborhoods.

*

*

But this was in April, so when I wasn’t looking at apartments, I was walking around enjoying springtime in New York. I already felt better. It was good to be distracted.

One day, after looking at an apartment, I found myself in Park Slope. I was familiar with this upscale Brooklyn neighborhood from having lived in New York previously.

I thought of Park Slope as being too expensive for me and not really my style. But walking around, it looked so nice. And it felt safe. Most people there had gone to liberal arts colleges and now had media jobs or were in the arts, etc. Wasn’t that my demographic?